Editor’s Note:
 
This column is a regular feature in the Wayback Times in which my husband takes interesting people out to lunch … and sends me the bill.
 
(It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!)
 
Send us an e-mail if you have someone in mind for one of Peter Neilly's interviews over lunch.
 
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Peter Neilly is Out to Lunch
Breaking bread with interesting people
 
Out to Lunch!
with Peter Neilly
This Out to Lunch column does not involve an interview over lunch, but is a tribute to the fascinating life of Jay (James Deans) Telfer, who died May 20.
 
Most regular readers of the Wayback Times knew of Jay as the original owner and editor of this paper, but he was much more than that. Jay led a fascinating life, overcame more challenges and accomplished more successes n his very interesting 61 years than most people would ever dream of doing.
 
 
Jay Telfer
1947-2009
 
Sandy and I first met Jay when we started advertising our antique shop in his paper almost 13 years ago. Out of that first meeting grew a friendship and admiration for Jay that eventually led to us purchasing the Wayback Times from him in the fall of 2006.
 
Jay had many health-related setbacks in his life. As a teenager in the '60s, he battled cancer, and at age 37 he suffered a massive stroke. In the spring of 2000, he underwent bypass surgery.

He fought addictions during his life and had just completed 23 years of being addiction free. Jay handled adversities that hopefully none of us will ever have to face, and he always battled back.

Throughout all his time in and out of hospitals, he kept a positive outlook and kept working on his dreams.
 
At Jay's memorial service, his brother, Ian Telfer, president and CEO of Goldcorp Inc., gave a touching account of Jay's all-too-short life.

"Jay dared to dream, but unlike most of us who dare to dream, Jay dared to act on his dreams," said Ian. "Most of us have a fear of the unknown, but Jay was fearless when it came to following his dreams."
 
As a teen, Jay quit school to follow his dream of becoming a successful musician. He became an integral part of the Yorkville musical scene in the 1960s and his band, A Passing Fancy, went on tour and recorded a successful album with Columbia Records.

I remember watching them perform at the Canadian National Exhibition where they played their hit song I Believe In Sunshine.
Jay then went on to a solo career and recorded several hit songs, as well as writing for other artists. His song Ten Pound Note became a huge hit for the band Steel River.

Jay was also the drummer on Murray Mclaughlan's debut album, Songs From The Street, and was the guitarist in the Toronto production of the musical Hair that played at the Royal Alex.

As Jay's brother mentioned, "Jay had the coolest address in Toronto in the 1960s, No. 1 Yorkville Ave."
 
His next dream was to become a successful screenwriter, so he simply got into his van and drove to California, where he became, you guessed it, an award-winning screenwriter.

Jay was married briefly to movie star Bonnie Bedelia, who starred with Bruce Willis in the Die Hard series as his wife.

And while living in Los Angeles, Jay wrote the script for the movie Kid Vengeance, starring Jim Brown and Lee Van Cleef.

Jay also wrote for CTV's Search and Rescue and managed to complete a novel, Business as Usual.

After returning to Toronto, Jay wrote scripts for both CBC Radio and television shows and was nominated in 1981 for writing the CBC's three-part teledrama You've Come A Long Way, Katie, which was about addiction.
Jay's next dream was to get into the hospitality business, so he moved to Wellington, Ontario, and in 1990 opened Jay's Bed and Breakfast.

In 1995, while vacationing in Minnesota with his wife, Cindy, Jay decided it would be a great idea to start up an antique newspaper and a 12-page November/December issue of the Wayback Times was born that same year.

Jay sold the ads, designed the layout, edited the copy and once published, delivered thousands of papers to antique shops and shows across Ontario.
 
Even as Jay's health worsened, his creative juices kept flowing. Just last year, he became a financial backer of the award-winning documentary Prom Night In Mississippi, which was featured at the Sundance Film Festival and is about to be released worldwide.

It is about Charleston High School in Mississippi, which, until 2008, had segregated proms for blacks and whites until Academy Award winning actor Morgan Freeman offered to pay for an integrated prom. His original offer in 1997 was refused.
 
Among Jay's many interests was his passion for all things VW, especially Volkswagen Beetles. This was another common bond that we could relate to as our son, Aaron, shared the same obsession.
 
There was a friendly rivalry between Jay and Aaron as their collections increased in size and value. From vintage Dinky Toys and advertising, to boxing shorts and edible chocolate VWs, no item was ever passed up when discovered.
 
When Jay recently sold his collection due to his health and smaller living quarters, he donated all of the proceeds to the Canadian Hunger Foundation, an organization he greatly admired.
 
So it was no surprise at his memorial service to see Jay's ashes were in a jar that was a VW Beetle replica. We knew he would be well pleased with this fitting gesture, acknowledging both his passion and his great sense of humour.
 
At the conclusion of Jay's memorial service, a piece written by a pastor in the 1990s was read. It shares a message we can all benefit from:
 
"Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
 
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
 
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
 
Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
 
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment, for someday that person will not be there again.
 
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
 
And always remember:
 
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
 
Jay will be missed by many of us.
 
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